About me: "Its really scary to think about the future. Its one of the worst things for me to do.
All i see is a road.. Of nothing.
Nothing.. Just. Nothing.
Every morning.. The same sun.. coming through the same window.. At the same time.. On the same day.. With the same pain.. The same burden.. Of the same frustrations..
On repeat.. Every.. Single.. Day.."
“Where did all of these horrible scores come from? Explain yourself!
“I'm working my fingers to the bone every single day and this is how you repay me?”
“All you do is run away..”
“What are you going to do with yourself?”
“How did you end up this way?”
“SHUT UP, YOU F***ING BITCH!”
Sophie, is a gamer. And she was never just a casual gamer, she was pretty hardcore for as long as she could remember, since she started playing games when she was around 4 or 5 years old.
She has a video game addiction, one that drove her to play games almost every waking moment. But she didn't truly get this addicted until she started getting bullied in school.
Her earliest memories are not about her family, nor is it about her parents.
Sophie's very earliest memory is of her playing a video game. It was some nintendo game on the N64. Her father asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, and she said that she wanted to just play video games for the rest of her life when she's done with school. This was when her father told her that wasn't a real job, which, at the time, it wasn't, since this was the early 2000s and video game streaming was just barely getting started.
So, she said she would make games instead- from five years old, she had already decided she wanted to be a video game developer. However, fate, causality, or perhaps, some higher being decided that wouldn't be the case.
She had several groups of friends over the years. However, when their friendship seemed to be at the best with them going over each other's houses nearly on a daily basis, the friendship suddenly came to a halt. Usually with a betrayal, they would suddenly just start giving her the silent treatment.
Shortly after she lost all her friends, she started getting bullied on a daily basis.
Eventually, she started to have panic attacks whenever she goes out in public. All she could think about was how people were judging her, looking at her from every angle, even when she's just alone off the beaten path, she still feels like she's being watched from every angle unless she's in her room.
“Damn it.. Damn it! DAMN IT!!!”
“My teachers.. My friends.. My family.. My teammates..
They're all bullsh*t! A**HOLES! Everyone of them! THEY ARE ALL A**HOLES!!
I won't trust anyone again.”
Her video game hobby slowly turned into an addiction, and her life now revolved around video games. She was playing video games for as much as she possibly could, it took up all of her free time. At first, it was just something to relieve stress, but now, she started to see it as her life. She is nothing without her video games, lower than trash, dirtier than dirt.
This was when she joined a gaming championship, it was about a very competitive FPS game which was played across the world. Even though she lost 90% of the time when she first started playing, it was the only time she truly felt alive.
“Damn it.. One more time..”
“Die.. die! All of you, JUST DIE!!”
At this point, she's only 16, and while she is still technically enrolled in school, this was when she stopped going to school. She attended so rarely, that most of the students had forgotten about her.
After two years, she officially drops out, and now, her life is nothing but video games. She became a video game streamer, and on top of that, she plays in a world championship gaming tournament once a year, which she wins most of the time, but even so, she still earns barely enough to sustain herself. She now lives in a cheap one bedroom apartment, and lives on mostly chicken, pizza, and ramen. She lives an unstable lifestyle, but at least she doesn't have to argue with her parents anymore.