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May 03, 2018

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05/26/2018 12:09 PM 

Child do not be afraid/you'll find a way

It was strange; she remembered what happened, but she did not remember what happened before she passed out when hell broke loose. One moment she was lying on the ground in pain and then the next she was in a bed in a wizard’s home with him humming melodies of a childhood song of hers and telling her she was the one who could make this better. Maybe this was her mind telling her not to remember those things, but something in the pit of her stomach knew something was off about the broken memory. What was it and why did it make her heartache?

“Are they alive?” she questioned, but the wizard only turned to the stack of books as he examined them slowly. She leaned on the surface of a table with her eyes fixated on him, but her mind kept wondering even more. Were they alive? Who was she asking about – it wasn’t about all those people she promised to protect; she was asking about her parents and her friends.

The wizard sighed; turning his head towards her with his ocean blue eyes staring at her colorful ones that seemed to change based on her mood. Right now, her eyes were gray, as her mind kept lingering on the thought of the ones she loved were dead. Her long hair hung over her shoulders and some on her face. That as well changed colors; never once staying the same and right now it was blue because she was sad. She wore a pastel blue gown that had flowers attached to it; a gown from her home that would seem a bit odd to others that were not of her world.

“You see,” he cleared his throat, rubbing his fingers against his gray beard. He was an odd person; he wore a pointy gray hat with a matching robe to go along with it. He looked like a typical wizard from a fairytale, but he was still a bit different. “I cannot tell you that,” he finally stated after a long pause between his words. She kept her eyes on him as she started to feel a bit bitter about not getting any answers.

“Princess,” he sat down across from her on a stool with his elbows folded on top the surface, “there are things that you should not think too much on until you go back home. You will get answers once you do, but please remember – keep your heart in one place. If you lose your way, then you as well will be consumed by the darkness. My duty is to make sure you complete your mission and to get you home once you do,” he watched her head turn to the side in a sulking way. Her head rested on the table with her muttering under her breath. He could hear her, but he chose not to respond to her mumbling words.

“You are keeping it from me because it will hurt me, right?” she wasn’t stupid or someone who couldn’t tell when someone was hiding something from her. She knew that something terrible happened and that was why she could not remember it. In her heart, she knew that something was not right. “Why me?” she questioned this often. She rose her head up from the table and sat up straight. Her eyes stared into his ocean blue hues once more with a clear determination for answers.

 “Why me?” she asked again, raising her body and her palms hitting the table with frustration. Her hair began to change from blue to a dark tint of pink to red. Her eyes changed as well with a pink tone to it, but she wasn’t happy – she was angry.  “All this – you are the one, but you don’t tell me why!” her voice was raised, her kind gently voice was becoming more furious.

“What if I fail?” she moved away from the table, slowly as she walked in front of the wizard, “I’ve traveled to a few worlds already.” She pulled the book off the table and held it into her arms, “but I have found nothing. What was the point in going to these worlds, Aprius? I am wasting my time going to these worlds just to leave empty handed!” She took the book and rose it at him; she wasn’t going to throw it, but she was pretty close to wanting to. “This stupid book only makes me lost and confused!”

“Princess Jade,” he was calm, staring at the slim fairy who nearly hovered his way. She paused, lowering the book with her eyes shifting to the side away from him. He sighed once more, and she felt this lingering annoyance in her chest. “Now that you’re calm – I may say this,” he began to speak once more, seeing that she began to move away from him and slammed the book on the table. “I’ve told you before that we do not know where the stone is located. Going to all these worlds would also prepare you for the worse.” She looked away from him, looking towards the window that had beaming light coming through the glass and on the floor. “You need to be ready,” he reminded her, “you need to be stronger.”

“I dream about it,” she mumbled, catching his interest in what she was going to say, “lying on the ground and hearing the words ‘your beautiful perfect world is an illusion. I will break you from this false image of a perfect world. I will save you from this awful place’ Why is that?” she looked back to the wizard with a hopeless expression on her face. “I’ve never believed that there was no evil in our world and I certainly didn’t believe the world was perfect, but it was his voice. The one person I trusted the most telling me that he will free me from a world that didn’t need to be fixed,” her voice cracked to those words, curling her hands into a fist again; staring into those eyes once more. “Why did he betray me?” she knew, she just knew it from the start that she was betrayed but she also had this feeling in her heart that it wasn’t him – it was something else, someone else.

Moving the book on the surface of the table she opened it and sighed, “I don’t understand how this even works. The book does what it wants; sometimes it’s just empty and nothing could make it show me anything. Then at random moments, it does something... like releasing a light or showing me words and images as if it’s trying to tell me something. But I don’t understand it – what is it telling me? Why it won’t just put it in fine print saying, ‘go this way’? Why am I running in circles, pondering by the time I go home that things would not be worse?” She was now rambling, wanting to vent out these words for so long, “I look like a lost child,” she added, looking towards the wizard once more.

“I don’t understand what are in these worlds. I get strange looks and sometimes I put myself in danger when I am not even aware that it is dangerous. I look foolish and somehow,” she paused in her words, seeing the wizard just sitting there staring at her. She lowered her hands onto the hem of her dress, curling her fingers on it – if she was weak she would have busted into tears already, but she didn’t. “I sound foolish,” she whispered, but he shook his head as if he disagreed. “Will I ever find the way?” he did not answer; he only stood up from the stool as he took the book off the table and placed it into her hands with her palm against the surface. She stared, inquiring about what he was going to do but he did nothing – he just walked away.

“You will figure it out,” he spoke before she removed her palm away from the book and the book began to open its pages to her and moved. “The more you question the things around you – the more you will learn. That my child is what we call... growing,” she was gone, away from the wizard once more but this time she stood on a shore with her feet against the sand. Her toes wiggle and the sound of the ocean was like a song to her ears. Her eyes closed with focus and the wind brushed against her soft pale skin as she inhaled in and exhaled out as she felt some stress relief. Maybe she was a strange person in these worlds, but at least she was herself. The scent of the ocean filled her lungs – when she felt the cold water raising the skin of her feet she opened her eyes once more and looked down at the book in her hands.

This is what they called growing; one will question and because they are questioning things they learn by experience. That is what she was doing; these worlds were a test for her and if she can manage to go to these worlds of the unknown and make it through – she can save her kind. 

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